40 Things You Can Do To Raise a Moral Child

From the book Teaching Right from Wrong by Arthur Dobrin

Berkley Books, New York (2001)

FEELINGS - Emotions Are the Groundwork of Morality

• Tune into your child's feelings.
• Comment on your own emotions.
• Talk about how you think others may be feeling.
• Read stories that are fanciful.
• Sing to your children.

REASON - Feelings Need to Be Guided by Reason

• Give reasons why you approve or disapprove of your child's behavior.
• Provide reasons for rules you want your child to follow.
• Encourage your child to play with children of various ages.
• Engage your children in reflective discussions by asking open-ended questions.
• Promote independent thinking.

SELF-ESTEEM - self-respect Is a Prerequisite to Acting Morally

• Treat your child with respect.
• Express interest in your child's activities, projects and dreams.
• Help set goals and encourage your children to see them through.
• Praise a task well done.
• Give your child emotional and verbal support to stand against the crowd when necessary.

DISCIPLINE - Behavior Has Consequences

• Be flexible - not arbitrary - in your discipline.
• Don't use intimidation; never use ridicule.
• Severity of punishment should be related to the severity of the wrongdoing.
• Discipline with explanations.
• Criticize in private.

PREJUDICE - Treating All People Fairly Is Fundamental to Morality

• Examine your own biases.
• Provide examples that counteract society's prejudices.
• Don't allow biased or bigoted comments to go unchallenged.
• Give your child books that show different kinds of people playing, working and living together.
• Talk about differences between people, but speak about them neutrally.

VALUES - Some Values Are More Important Than Others

• Tell your children about the people you admire and why.
• Live your life, as you want your child to lead hers.
• Show the importance of protecting the vulnerable.
• Comment on compassionate behavior - let your child know that caring is an important value.
• Let your children know what you value and why you value it.

HABITS - Morality Is Learned Through Observing and Doing

• Provide opportunities for your child to help others.
• Give positive verbal and non-verbal feedback for being a good person.
• Work with your child in community and volunteer service.
• Expect and encourage good deeds from your children.
• Help your children to keep promises.

COMMUNITY - Morality Involves Other People

• Talk about the TV shows, music and movies your child sees.
• Get involved in your child's education.
• Make family meals an important and regular occasion.
• Encourage activities that involve your child with others.
• Take an interest in the world outside your home.